So, I'm finally back from Bushnell and all my Cornerstone Fest duties. Back to the real world. I need to find a job. I am super nervous about money, finding a job and a place to live.
There seems to be a theme running through my current circustances and that is "Get Off The Boat". Like when Jesus is walking on the water and calls Peter out. Peter had to make a choice. Do I get off the boat and trust the Lord will take care of me or do I stay here where the storm is raging and wave are crashing...but at least I know for sure I'm on the boat.
If I jump into this unkown, then what? Now I have to enter into total trust in God. Peter looked away from Jesus and let his fears of the storm overwhelm him. He started sinking, and stop believing. I keep looking away, and I'm not even off the boat. God help me have faith and trust in you.
The other day I had an amazing devotional with my lovely roomie Katherine. We read from Oswald Chamber's book My Upmost For His Highest. His writings struck to the core of my situation. I have decided to make my descision and work with this church I've been thinking about helping. I am going to chose to believe. I'm jumping off the boat.
I hope it blesses whoever reads this.
Do you have even the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God? Is there a remnant of reliance left on any natural quality within you, or on any particular set of circumstances? Are you relying on yourself in any manner whatsoever regarding this new proposal or plan which God has placed before you? Will you examine yourself by asking these probing questions? It really is true to say, "I cannot live a holy life," but you can decide to let Jesus Christ make you holy. "You cannot serve the Lord . . ."— but you can place yourself in the proper position where God’s almighty power will flow through you. Is your relationship with God sufficient for you to expect Him to exhibit His wonderful life in you?
"The people said to Joshua, ’No, but we will serve the Lord!" ( Joshua 24:21 ). This is not an impulsive action, but a deliberate commitment. We tend to say, "But God could never have called me to this. I’m too unworthy. It can’t mean me." It does mean you, and the more weak and feeble you are, the better. The person who is still relying and trusting in anything within himself is the last person to even come close to saying, "I will serve the Lord."
We say, "Oh, if only I really could believe!" The question is, "Will I believe?" No wonder Jesus Christ placed such emphasis on the sin of unbelief. "He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief" ( Matthew 13:58 ). If we really believed that God meant what He said, just imagine what we would be like! Do I really dare to let God be to me all that He says He will be?